News report

WAl how to write a newspaper report

Crime scene

by Shontae Henare

In New Zealand, Christchurch  there has been a crime committed.

Where in Christchurch? In the suburb of Hornby at Delmain park on October the 25 2016.The family are devastated about this tragedy. They are sad because she is only just young as she is only 11. The investigator’s said “That it looked like she had been pushed or had dived in”. They were not sure how long she had been there for.We have asked the family if they knew she was going to be there. They said “They did”. That is all the news we have right now.

The piano

WALT write a descriptive piece of writing from the old mans point of view as he recalls his memories. 

The Piano

By Shontae

I see my black piano in the corner I haven’t played it since my wife died .I walk over to the piano.As I’m playing the piano I start to remember memories.From when me and my wife played the piano.I Imagine her sitting right here with me beside me playing the piano.She holds my hand and she kisses me as she fades away.More tears start going down my eyes .As I play a lovely tune on the piano.I remember when I went to war.I could hear gunshots they were so loud I can’t describe how loud they were.I can feel the light brown dirt under my big heavy green boots.I can remember leaning against the old grey brick wall.I could remember when I asked my friend if he was alright to go out there on his own he said he was fine.Suddenly he got out from behind the wall.But then all I  see is him fall down.I hold him in my arms as I shiver in fear. I scream in fear. no you can’t do this to me.He whispered something tell my family and friends I love them.Then he slowly shut his eye’s and said good by my friend.I screamed “NOOOO YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME”

I thought I was going to be next to go down like him.I made him a promise it was that I would fight for him and win this war and I never gave up.We won I kept this promise and never broke it.We wore green hard hats.Another tear drop goes slowly down my face.As I wipe it away with my old wrinkly hands.My memory starts fading away.I look in a corner and I see me giving my son a present it was a wooden horse.It was wrapped in a light blue box with a shiny ribbon.He has a suit on with a hat and shoes.He thanked me for his present I said that was fine you deserved it.That was the first time  I had seen him happy in a long time since his mother and my wife past away.It made me happy to see him happy.About 16  years later he had a kid of his own which is my grandchild.About a few years later my son past away.I was so sad when he past away because it reminded me of when my wife past away.But my grandchild still has the wooden horse to remember my son and his father.Then my grandchild came up and sat next to me as I taught him how to play the piano.He said to me I love you grandad.THE END

Sierre Leone Mudslide

Week#45

World Events for your writing

I’m sure you won’t have missed the events in Barcelona, Spain this week or the devastation caused by the mud slide in Sierre Leone and the violence in Charlottesville, Virginia. The prompt this week uses the emotions that the media has shown us.

Latest prompt

As I said at the top of this page, the events around the world this week:

… as it came rushing towards us we…

The mudslide

I was casually walking down the old concrete roads.When it all came rushing towards me.It was as brown as bark and as runny as pulpy orange juice.Suddenly I was running as fast as a cheetah.My heart was beating as fast as a drum.I see this big mudslide come towards me, it comes closer and closer as it gets faster and faster.Suddenly more people start screaming for help.It was as loud as a motorbike.All I could think about was all the people that had lost their lives and families that have lost relatives.

The day I went blind

The day I went blind

I was watching the weather they said it would be a stormy night.When all of a sudden I heard thunder and lighting.

I screamed! “Everybody needs to get out of the house run”

We run outside quickly.But then there was a flash of lighting BOOM! it went black.It was as black as oil.

I screamed! “AHHHHH HELP ME”

They called the ambulance.I got rushed to the emergency room.I survived but I won't be able to see for years.It's been a struggle for me not being able to see.I wish that day never happened.

Titanium

WALT use a technique to carefully craft our writing .

Titanium         

Make a copy, rename and start your writing on your copy.

Learn

Click on the url below and watch the short clip.

Titanium

Before you start writing Watch up till 1.15, think about what has happened? What has caused this? Why?

Create  

WALT write a descriptive piece of writing through the eyes of the boy.

Success Criteria

We need to focus on these things

• Full stops, capital letters,
• Paragraphs
• We need to follow the sentence tools for our opening paragraphs.

To start with you will write a description of the first scene, use the show not tell technique to create thoughtful writing. You are writing through the eyes of the boy.                              These are our sentence tools today -

Sentence 1 - If, if, if, then

Sentence 2 - 3_ed

Sentence 3 - 2A

Sentence 4 - Where opener

Sentence 5 - Adverb opener

Sentence 6 - Short sentence

Sentence 7 - Tell: show 3 examples;

Sentence 8 - Short sentences

Here are some examples

​

Go to this padlet Titanium and start writing your ideas, words feelings adjectives similes and metaphors.

Share

Once this is completed you can publish it on your personal blog.

Titanium

If I wasn't bullied if I wasn't as dum if I didn't have powers then none of this would of happened.I was scared  depressed and fared because of what I had  done.I had a nervous feeling in my body I am crouched down on a old dirty piece of paper.I stand up furiously off the old dirty piece of paper.I slowly walk past a classroom as one of the teacher looks at me and frighteningly  closes the door.I slowly walk nervously past the police.I hope on the red old rusty bike.As I screw up my face bite my yellow nails and nervously crouch down.I rush into my quiet little house.But something wasn't right but then...

Somalia

Somalia           

Make a copy, rename and start your writing on your copy.

Learn

Click on the url below and watch the short clip.

Not far off the Somali coast one of the big Vestel cargo vessels is taken over by pirates! Within a split of a second the ship has a new captain, the soup is gone as well as the cargo itself. Will our Vestrons be able to strike back?

Somalia

Before you start writing think about the setting and imagine you are there.

Somali pirates take over a huge cargo freighter at sea. Things don’t look good for the crew, until the pirates start to investigate the cargo—Vestrons! Engage!

Create  

WALT write a narrative through the eyes of one of the crew, or robots.

• Describe the setting in detail.Think about words to describe the situation, what you see, smell, taste, hear. Try to use words that create the mood.
• Now…..Write a first person narrative through the eyes of one of the crew or one of the robots. How you are feeling when the boat is invaded by pirates.

​

Go to this padlet Somali and start writing your ideas, words feelings adjectives similies and metaphors.

Share

Once this is completed you can publish it on your personal blog.

Somalia

I was stuck in this container it was metallic white.I looked through a gap I saw were the captain was where he stared the ship so we couldn't crash.I could hear the dark blue sea crashing against the white shiny boat.It was as shiny as ice at the ice skating rink.I heard this sound it was like arhhhh. It was getting louder and louder I heard loud foot prints.I could smell muddy dirt..I got out of my container out of the top  of it.I hear these things open up my container.I heard them say where's the car's gone.Then all the robots started coming out because  I told them to.We have these things the a bit like walkie talkies.But i’m the leader so if something bad happens i’m the one that has to tell them.I jump off my container and I see these humans their in these ripped, old, faded pants.There tshirts looked almost like they were made out of sheets old dirty ones that were left on streets of Somalia.They had these old hats that didn't even have a top it looked like they just ripped it off.They called themselves pirates.I told the other robots to take care of these ones and check all the other spaces apart from where the captain steers the boat.I start walking up to where the captain is up the stairs.I hide behind a little cabinet.I here a pirate say guess who I am i’m the new captain gemme me the keys.The captain's face was in fare.The pirate repeats it.Give me the keys he takes the shiny grey keys.They were as shiny as gold.The captain runs straight pass me I quickly hide.After I see he's gone I jump.I tap him on the shoulder and turn him around so he can see all his pirates on there knees.I ask him for the keys he gives them to me in fare.I give the captain his keys and he says thank you.We go back in our container and so far they haven't come back.

Beyond the lines

Beyond the Lines             

Make a copy, rename and start your writing on your copy.

Learn

Click on the url below and watch the short clip up to 3 mins 16 seconds

Beyond the LInes

Before you start writing think about the setting and imagine you are there.

The opening sequence of this film swoops across the Normandy landing beaches.

It is to here that we are taken, first we see the eye of a scared soldier and then a group of soldiers huddled together on transport vessels ready for battle.   Once discharged they race up the beach – it is at this point that we realise that something isn’t quite right.

Two young boys are caught up in the battle surrounded by pale, paper-faced soldiers.

Create  

WALT write a narrative through the eyes of one of the children or one of the soldiers.

• Think about how the men on the boat would have been feeling as they huddled on the boat on their way to their impending doom.
• Think about words to describe the battleground, what you see, smell, taste, hear. Try to use words that create the mood.
• Now…..Write a first person narrative through the eyes of one of the children or one of the soldiers..

​

Go to this padlet Beyond the LInes and start writing your ideas, words feelings adjectives similies and metaphors.

Share

Once this is completed you can publish it on your personal blog.

Beyond the line

I was sitting on the rusty old ship.It was as rusty as an old rusty scooter.As I was sitting there thinking how it would be going to war in Turkey, I look at the ramp going down and I get ready to run.

I start running, I run out of the ship. As I’m running out of the ship I can already see bombs blowing up.This was louder than I’ve ever heard, I didn’t think that war was like this.

As I look around I see people die every minute. I hide behind some metal to try and dodge the bullets and bombs.

I look in front of me and and I see the blood dripping down his leg. As I'm sitting down I think to myself the longer I run, maybe I will go faster to get to our trenches,  I hope.

I get up and  start running again I just felt like the bombs and bullets were getting closer and closer to me. I heard people yelling in pain. I feel like I should go back and help him, but I think to myself I’ve got to keep going I can't risk it.

We finally got to our trenches but there was only about 30 of us left.Most of my friends got killed apart from 2 of them. I could smell rats, blood, mud and more I couldn’t believe what happened.

Now I look back at it and think to myself why did I go?  What did I think it would be like. It was an experiment and  I didn’t believe that could happen.

I’m lucky to survive and  about 15 of us survived.That's what war in the old days was about it wasn't a vacation.

The switch

Walt use videos to make our writing better we know we can do this when we have don these things Made shore we used a capital I in the right places , full stops,          capital letter and smiles and adjectives.                          Hi i'm the ball boy in the crowd .I’m holding a bright black yellow green and light pink ball. .I can feel the grip on the bright coloured ball.. I can see the people and I think to myself what it would be like to be a famous football player. .Suddenly I can hear the crowd shouting. .It was as loud as a gunshot. .All I could see was CRISTIANO RONALDO heading towards me in his dark red uniform. Next thing I new I ended up on the smooth ground. It was as smooth as a baby's head.. All I could see was blurry people. I felt dizzy, I was dizzier than when I have the flu.The next morning I woke up and looked around everything was mostly white the sheet were, the walls were. Then there was a big glass door. It was as big as a wall. I could hear someones foot steps down stairs.I walked down the stairs.The stairs were glass stairs.They were as shiny as a diamond. Then this lady gave me black shiny keys.They were as shiny as silver.Then I walked out side and there was a flash car.It was probably as expensive as a block of gold.It was as shiny as sun.It nearly blinded me like the sun. I hopped into the car it smelled new.It also smelled like it had some sort of perfume in it.So I started the car.All I could hear was the sound of the car.It was as loud as a motor bike maybe even louder then a motorbike.I put my foot on the pedal and I acsadently crashed in to the wall.The wall was as white and shiny as white paper.Then I finally got the handle of the car. When I went past security they laugh at me.They had blue and black on uniforms on .I think they were laughing at the car.I saw the field it was like three or four house on it. It was as big as a giant or just a little bit smaller.So then everyone started to turn up.We grab a ball each.They were the same colour as the day i got hit in the head.Some people came passed.They laughed at me.The next day we went to vs my old team.The game began me and the real Cristano Ranoldo were racing to get the ball we both sleped and bumped heads.The end.